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第77章（第1页）

“fitzwilliamdarcy”

ifelizabeth，whenmr.darcygavehertheletter，didnotexpectittocontainarenewalofhisoffers，shehadformednoexpectationatallofitscontents.butsuchastheywere，itmaywellbesupposedhoweagerlyshewentthroughthem，andwhatacontrarietyofemotiontheyexcited.herfeelingsasshereadwerescarcelytobedefined.withamazementdidshefirstunderstandthathebelievedanyapologytobeinhispower;andsteadfastlywasshepersuaded，thathecouldhavenoexplanationtogive，whichajustsenseofshamewouldnotconceal.withastrongprejudiceagainsteverythinghemightsay，shebeganhisaccountofwhathadhappenedatnetherfield.shereadwithaneagernesswhichhardlyleftherpowerofcomprehension，andfromimpatienceofknowingwhatthenextsentencemightbring，wasincapableofattendingtothesenseoftheonebeforehereyes.hisbeliefofhersister’sinsensibilitysheinstantlyresolvedtobefalse;andhisaccountofthereal，theworstobjectionstothematch，madehertooangrytohaveanywishofdoinghimjustice.heexpressednoregretforwhathehaddonewhichsatisfiedher;hisstylewasnotpenitent，buthaughty.itwasallprideandinsolence.

butwhenthissubjectwassucceededbyhisaccountofmr.wickham—whenshereadwithsomewhatclearerattentionarelationofeventswhich，iftrue，mustoverthroweverycherishedopinionofhisworth，andwhichboresoalarminganaffinitytohisownhistoryofhimself—herfeelingswereyetmoreacutelypainfulandmoredifficultofdefinition.astonishment，apprehension，andevenhorror，oppressedher.shewishedtodiscredititentirely，repeatedlyexclaiming，“thismustbefalse!thiscannotbe!thismustbethegrossestfalsehood!”—andwhenshehadgonethroughthewholeletter，thoughscarcelyknowinganythingofthelastpageortwo，putithastilyaway，protestingthatshewouldnotregardit，thatshewouldneverlookinitagain.

inthisperturbedstateofmind，withthoughtsthatcouldrestonnothing，shewalkedon;butitwouldnotdo;inhalfaminutetheletterwasunfoldedagain，andcollectingherselfaswellasshecould，sheagainbeganthemortifyingperusalofallthatrelatedtowickham，andcommandedherselfsofarastoexaminethemeaningofeverysentence.theaccountofhisconnectionwiththepemberleyfamilywasexactlywhathehadrelatedhimself;andthekindnessofthelatemr.darcy，thoughshehadnotbeforeknownitsextent，agreedequallywellwithhisownwords.sofareachrecitalconfirmedtheother;butwhenshecametothewill，thedifferencewasgreat.whatwickhamhadsaidofthelivingwasfreshinhermemory，andassherecalledhisverywords，itwasimpossiblenottofeelthattherewasgrossduplicityononesideortheother;and，forafewmoments，sheflatteredherselfthatherwishesdidnoterr.butwhenshereadandre-readwiththeclosestattention，theparticularsimmediatelyfollowingofwickham'sresigningallpretensionstotheliving，ofhisreceivinginlieusoconsiderableasumasthreethousandpounds，againwassheforcedtohesitate.sheputdowntheletter，weighedeverycircumstancewithwhatshemeanttobeimpartiality—deliberatedontheprobabilityofeachstatement—butwithlittlesuccess.onbothsidesitwasonlyassertion.againshereadon;buteverylineprovedmoreclearlythattheaffair，whichshehadbelieveditimpossiblethatanycontrivancecouldsorepresentastorendermr.darcy'sconductinitlessthaninfamous，wascapableofaturnwhichmustmakehimentirelyblamelessthroughoutthewhole.

theextravaganceandgeneralprofligacywhichhescruplednottolayatmr.wickham'scharge，exceedinglyshockedher;themoreso，asshecouldbringnoproofofitsinjustice.shehadneverheardofhimbeforehisentranceintothe—shiremilitia，inwhichhehadengagedatthepersuasionoftheyoungmanwho，onmeetinghimaccidentallyintown，hadthererenewedaslightacquaintance.ofhisformerwayoflifenothinghadbeenknowninhertfordshirebutwhathetoldhimself.astohisrealcharacter，hadinformationbeeninherpower，shehadneverfeltawishofinquiring.hiscountenance，voice，andmannerhadestablishedhimatonceinthepossessionofeveryvirtue.shetriedtorecollectsomeinstanceofgoodness，somedistinguishedtraitofintegrityorbenevolence，thatmightrescuehimfromtheattacksofmr.darcy;oratleast，bythepredominanceofvirtue，atoneforthosecasualerrorsunderwhichshewouldendeavourtoclasswhatmr.darcyhaddescribedastheidlenessandviceofmanyyears'continuance.butnosuchrecollectionbefriendedher.shecouldseehiminstantlybeforeher，ineverycharmofairandaddress;butshecouldremembernomoresubstantialgoodthanthegeneralapprobationoftheneighbourhood，andtheregardwhichhissocialpowershadgainedhiminthemess.afterpausingonthispointaconsiderablewhile，sheoncemorecontinuedtoread.but，alas!thestorywhichfollowed，ofhisdesignsonmissdarcy，receivedsomeconfirmationfromwhathadpassedbetweencolonelfitzwilliamandherselfonlythemorningbefore;andatlastshewasreferredforthetruthofeveryparticulartocolonelfitzwilliamhimself—fromwhomshehadpreviouslyreceivedtheinformationofhisnearconcerninallhiscousin'saffairs，andwhosecharactershehadnoreasontoquestion.atonetimeshehadalmostresolvedonapplyingtohim，buttheideawascheckedbytheawkwardnessoftheapplication，andatlengthwhollybanishedbytheconvictionthatmr.darcywouldneverhavehazardedsuchaproposal，ifhehadnotbeenwellassuredofhiscousin'scorroboration.

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